Friday, December 08, 2006

Cap'n Gutrhie Halfasses the Grammys

I may be a bit late on this but, honestly, spending much time on the Grammys is like washing your lawn. So here is a quick recap of my reaction to this (and every) years grammy awards: wutufuh?

Somewhere along the line the Grammy committee was replaced by a group of white southern college girls and Zach Braff because thats really the only explanation that I can give for why James Blunt is at the top of the list. So, album of the year? Well you can choose between this smorgasboard of dump:

St. Elsewhere - Gnarls Barkley: Weird R&B does not equate to good R&B. Pitchforkmedia really flexed their taste making muscle here. "Crazy" would have come and gone, pounding its bassline through my roof in a steady arc in its progression, but then the album got stuck on a windowhook and I had to listen to it all summer long. bastards.

Stadium Arcadium - Red Hot Chili Peppers: What is it about bands named after food? Bread, Korn, Cake. Most of them suck. Truth be told I'm a fan of about a third of RHCP's catalogue, when they do their funky non-fratboy music me and Keidis are alllright.

Futuresex/Lovesounds - Justin Timberlake: I'm actually not too hot on this album anymore. at first I jumped out of my pants listening to it but the only song that really stuck with me was My Love. and what a damn doosie that song was. I'd slarve Timbaland's Doad any day.

Honestly I haven't listened to the John Mayer album nor have I heard the Dixie Chicks album. I feel no need to and I feel no shame in commenting on how I will probably think that they're just ok or worse. However, I've changed my tune on Mary J. Blige after hearing the supernal We Ride(I see the future). Alex you're a fucking prick.

Good luck looking through that list without blinking, or falling asleep its long as a fucking freight train. I can give you a summary right now: Spiro Gyra, James Blunt, Bette Midler, Buckcherry?, Matisyahu (on reggae no less), Weird Al.

Good to go.

3 comments:

Melody Nelson said...

"Weird R&B does not equate to good R&B," yes, but considering yr allergic reaction to Mary J. Blige, I don't know if I can trust you to locate good R&B!

Melody Nelson said...

My next comment won't be an insult, I promise! What the hell did Buck Cherry do this year?!!?

Cap'n Guthrie said...

yeah, thats what I'm saying dooood