Friday, December 08, 2006

Cap'n Gutrhie Halfasses the Grammys

I may be a bit late on this but, honestly, spending much time on the Grammys is like washing your lawn. So here is a quick recap of my reaction to this (and every) years grammy awards: wutufuh?

Somewhere along the line the Grammy committee was replaced by a group of white southern college girls and Zach Braff because thats really the only explanation that I can give for why James Blunt is at the top of the list. So, album of the year? Well you can choose between this smorgasboard of dump:

St. Elsewhere - Gnarls Barkley: Weird R&B does not equate to good R&B. Pitchforkmedia really flexed their taste making muscle here. "Crazy" would have come and gone, pounding its bassline through my roof in a steady arc in its progression, but then the album got stuck on a windowhook and I had to listen to it all summer long. bastards.

Stadium Arcadium - Red Hot Chili Peppers: What is it about bands named after food? Bread, Korn, Cake. Most of them suck. Truth be told I'm a fan of about a third of RHCP's catalogue, when they do their funky non-fratboy music me and Keidis are alllright.

Futuresex/Lovesounds - Justin Timberlake: I'm actually not too hot on this album anymore. at first I jumped out of my pants listening to it but the only song that really stuck with me was My Love. and what a damn doosie that song was. I'd slarve Timbaland's Doad any day.

Honestly I haven't listened to the John Mayer album nor have I heard the Dixie Chicks album. I feel no need to and I feel no shame in commenting on how I will probably think that they're just ok or worse. However, I've changed my tune on Mary J. Blige after hearing the supernal We Ride(I see the future). Alex you're a fucking prick.

Good luck looking through that list without blinking, or falling asleep its long as a fucking freight train. I can give you a summary right now: Spiro Gyra, James Blunt, Bette Midler, Buckcherry?, Matisyahu (on reggae no less), Weird Al.

Good to go.

4 comments:

Alex said...

"Weird R&B does not equate to good R&B," yes, but considering yr allergic reaction to Mary J. Blige, I don't know if I can trust you to locate good R&B!

Alex said...

My next comment won't be an insult, I promise! What the hell did Buck Cherry do this year?!!?

Cap'n Guthrie said...

yeah, thats what I'm saying dooood

OkraMary said...

It's sad when the most interesting musician on that last list is Weird Al...no offense to the man, of course.